When I got my first apartment, I just thought about making it functional and I bought things to imitate them to make it look like my parents’ place. I bought too much. My guests were surprised that such a small apartment could have a garlic press, a food processor, a cheese grater.

Then, inspired by the life of the Prophet (saw), I wanted to reduce the number of things I owned. I got rid of quite a few things. I’ve always had a preferential relationship with the soil, I just took it to another level.

A few days ago, thinking about the empty spaces and the rearrangement of things that remain, I asked myself how I could project my personality into these places. And more importantly, who am I?

I didn’t have the luxury of asking myself this question before. I had cluttered the space so much that the question didn’t arise. It didn’t matter that it was with things that were of little or no use to me.

I don’t have the answer to who I am, but I know that I don’t know. On the other hand, what I’m pleasantly surprised about is that this pursuit of minimalism has also led me to sort through my relationships. Going beyond the question of “I want to please…” to “Do people please me?” I don’t like many people, but that’s enough to create new constellations. I notice that just as I’ve been buying skincare products in recent months, I’ve also started taking classes that nourish me intellectually, artistically, and spiritually.

I washed my interior walls thoroughly with bleach to have a clean space after the big cleaning. Recently, when I left for a meeting, I had a strange feeling. Of closeness but also of strangeness. Apnayat or Ajnabiyat. But it was a normal process. After sterilizing in this way so that the grass grows back under my feet, it will take a little time. It will also take time to choose my constellations. Choosing quality over quantity. 

Coming from a third-world country where life is cheaper than materials, paper to write with, ink for pens, books to read, everything is expensive. So maybe when I came to France, there was in our nature a lack of materials, of means that made me not think about the philosophy of my apartment. I just thought about filling the void. In the same way, I thought about having a social circle without asking myself if I was authentic or if I was playing at authenticity.  

I have no complaints to file. I want to do better, so that this company feels good about me and speaks in my favor.